Brain Sludge

Lyrics ©2003 by Bill and Gretchen Roper
Music ©2003 by Bill Roper

This was Gretchen's idea, although the phrase "Brain Sludge" was lifted from Dave Barry. Isn't it a wonderful description of all that stuff in your head?

I have this little problem, though it's secretly my pride.
I'm a product of my culture and there's nowhere I can hide.
I remember bits and pieces that I'd just as soon forget
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Like the number that you have to call to buy a Chia Pet.

588-2300, Empire.
No, that's carpet, not Chia Pet.

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	I've got Brain Sludge, it just keeps accumulating.
	I've got Brain Sludge and it's overdue for draining.
	I've got Brain Sludge  fills me up to my capacity.
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	I don't know where it comes from but I'll vouch for its veracity!

I know all of Santa's reindeer, all the Dwarves and all the Bradys.
I can list the seven deadly sins and all the rings of Hades.
I can name the third assistant grip on all the Star Wars flicks
And tell you how that Silly Rabbit finally got his Trix.

They took a vote.  You got to call in and say whether they should let him have it.
Yeah.  Some days you get the Trix, some days you kill Jason Todd.
Comics again?
Hey, why not?

	I've got Brain Sludge and I think it's overrated.
	I've got Brain Sludge, my gray matter's saturated.
	I've got Brain Sludge and now even on a dry day
	My head is full of runoff from the Information Highway.

I know Superman's from Krypton.  Bruce Wayne's parents were gunned down.
And I know that Larry Harmon was the first Bozo the Clown.
Dr. Reinstein was Doc Erskine, Dr. Doom was just plain bad.
And I swear the strangest Legionnaire was Matter-Eater Lad.

The guy could eat anything.  Wood, stone, steel 
I had a dog like that.  Once he ate a nylon stocking.  It came out whole.

	I've got Brain Sludge and there's no way to forget it.
	I've got Brain Sludge, don't know how to uncommit it.
	I've got Brain Sludge and although I'd rather trash it,
	I need a mental storage locker for the space to stash it.

I know Barlennen was a Mesklinite and Brennan was a Pak.
And Terminus could never stand against the Mule's attack.
I know who platted twishers and who swam the Egger Route
And just what slogan Kip sent in to win that old space suit.

I use Skyway soap because it is as pure at the sky itself.
99 and 44/100 percent pure?
Not in L.A.

	I've got Brain Sludge, all this trivia I've mastered.
	I've got Brain Sludge, I'm a cultural disaster.
	I've got Brain Sludge, now it's totally systemic.
	Just take a look around, you'll find we've got an epidemic.

	We've got Brain Sludge, I think somebody should ban it.
	We've got Brain Sludge, now it's got the whole damn planet.
	We've got Brain Sludge, we've just got to realize our
	Heads are all stuffed full of useless mental fertilizer.

Maybe something will grow in it.
The area of a circle is pi r squared.
That's your brain.
The approximate value of pi is 3.1415926535  except in Indiana, where it's three.
That's your brain on sludge!
Any questions?